


Rewind

by masterlyjudgement (orphan_account)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 21:39:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9461396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/masterlyjudgement
Summary: Not historically accurate! Kinda a vent fic for someone who relates way too much to Alexander Hamilton. Reincarnation is regular in this universe, but it's also pretty rare? If that makes sense.





	

Your name was Alexander Hamilton  
Emphasis on was.

You had to keep reminding yourself of that, of the was.  
Because it isn't anymore. Your name is Xander Hernandez. You always knew there was something wrong with your name. Something about the length of it made you feel wrong, about how your name was missing a piece. That was before you were even aware that the name _Alex_ ander existed.

You've never felt whole. You never felt like Xander Hernandez had its own identity.

After realizing who you are, were, whatever, you're not sure where Hamilton ends and Hernandez starts.  
You still have those same quirks, same opinions, same aspirations, same all-consuming hyper focus on your work.  
Same mental illnesses, even.

The only differences you can find are in appearance and identity.  
Not a bisexual man, anymore. Homosexual demiboy.

You scowled every time you looked in the mirror, your new appearance just feeling wrong to you. Hands moved to the greasy hair that fell around your shoulders, brown in color instead of the auburn red you once had. Dark olive skin with faded scars instead of the delicate light skin that had a spread of freckles over it. Looked into your eyes, brown orbs staring at yourself as you remembered the violet-blue eyes that had charmed many.

You didn't necessarily hate your appearance, but the large difference between what your face once was and what it's like now is upsetting. You missed your eyes, most of all. Eyes that put so many people in a trance at their beauty now changed to the most common colored ones.

But it wasn't worth losing sleep over. At least, not anymore. When you first were awakened to the fact that you were Hamilton, you lost sleep over your appearance. The difference was so distressing that you even started using makeup to give yourself false freckles to get back at least one trait you had. 

You have borderline personality disorder.  
You blame your disorder as why you cling so much to your past life as Alexander and why you've now tried to completely absorb his personality and existence as your own current one.  
It's not like you had much of a personality before, really just stealing traits from fictional characters and your friends. Like some kind of parasitic creature.  
It was the same when you were Alexander, the only core traits that stayed seemed to be your relentless pace in life and desire to be remembered as someone great.

Now, alive once again in the modern world you can see your legacy.  
You hate it. You spent your whole life, overworking to make something for yourself. For your name to be known by all of those in the country you helped build up. 

But most people only remember you as the founding father who died in a duel, and if they had listened or watched Hamilton then they just acknowledge your mistakes.

You and your wife had worked so hard for your legacy, to tell your story, and people only focus on your mistakes than your accomplishments.  
This is the only issue you have with your status of a reincarnate. This frustration with your memory. This frustration with the ideas people have of you.

**Author's Note:**

> This is softcore like my first fanfiction? Like, I've only written something once and it was really short. You can contact me on Tumblr @hamiltonwiki!
> 
> Please comment + kudos + w/e!


End file.
